Chink Thug

Dear Readers,

It's one in the morning and i'm watching television with pops.
We always do this because he's usually at work during the day.
So we chill at these wee hours of the night.
We're like owls, well I am but not my dad because he has to wake up the next morning to go to work.
American Ninja is currently playing, and the actor's pants are on too tight. He's gay.
See George Michael, what did I say?
His pants were on too tight in his "faith" video, though he looked mighty fine and sexy in it.
I find it sexy yet I find it gay, oh women... . . . .. we're complicated.

"American Ninja" equals to "white ninja" oh so racist.
So, if it's a chink ninja it's "China Ninja"?
To me honest, why do we stereotype people? I mean, not all chinese people are ninjas nor can white people be ninja's because that's just whacked don't you think?
NO it's not. The movie's going pretty good at right about now, but the evil people are black.
That was so uncalled for.

Today to look like a thug I braided my hair tight to my head on the left side, so it looks as if i shaved that part of my scalp.
Looks awesome though, I was really thinking on shaving that part of my head though. But there's no reason because I could just easily braid it.

I'm the best of all worlds actually, i'm part chink and have dutch ancestry.
I also have kelantanese and Thai blood flowing through my veins.
My dad also recently found out that some parts of me are siberian... . i find that so eccentric and
Lastly i'm also Malay.

My mix is really diluted and you can't tell where i'm actually from. Lots of people can't guess but usually I just tell them i'm malaysian.
Me and my friends all pretend like we're thugs, we're not offending or making fun or anything but it's just our interest. That's how we communicate so what the heck right?
What ever floats your boat.

I'm getting kind of flimsy now because it's getting close to 3 in the morning.
I wish someone was just here to carry me to bed.
I miss him ever so much, his scent just lingers around me.
Maybe because i sprayed it all over my room due to missing him so much and he doesn't even care.
So fuck it.

Love always,
ESJ
x


P.S. never let your emotions control you.